Lump of Coal

Isaiah 6:6-8

1 Kings 19:1-15b

These two scriptures have been fundamental as per my call story. However, until recently I did not realize how they connected. The 1 Kings passage I am sure is familiar to you and I am always reminded to listen for God in the still small voice within me and/or in the silence and to not expect God in the dramatic and loud. This is certainly important for everyone to follow God, to respond to your call (be it ordained ministry, or wherever God is calling you). I did discover another important part of this pericope from 1 Kings that relates to call and became obvious from Isaiah's call story in the temple.

Isaiah is able to say "Here am I; send me!" after the seraph took the coal and removed his guilt and sin. This image always reminds me of my initial calling to ministry as a child. I grew up in the Roman Catholic tradition and was preparing for my first communion 30 plus years ago. Each week we went to church my mother, sister, and I would not go forward for communion. The closer it came to my first communion the more I realized that my mother was not receiving communion. I finally asked her why she did not, and she told me because she married my father outside the church due to him having been divorced and thus she was not allowed to have communion. I then started to worry because I was a result of this unrecognized marriage that I should not be allowed to the communion table as well. As Disciples we uphold an open table, but in the Roman Church it is Close or Closed Table. That is we Disciples believe that the sacrament/ordinance is educational in nature and thus someone who does not believe may actually discover Christ in the partaking, thus nobody is turned away from the table, while the Roman Catholic (& other denominations) believe the sacrament is of a nurturing nature. Therefore, only members and those deemed worthy are invited to the table. This is one of the criticisms of the early founders of the Restoration Movement that the Christian Church (DOC) came out of, which encouraged us to always have an open table. I then asked my mother and the nuns why I should be allowed to partake in communion if I am a product of an unrecognized marriage. The response was correct, which was that does not affect me; however they did not convince me. I still worried that I was squeaking by to receive communion. I do not remember the actual first communion service, but rather the rehearsal the day before, I recall being shown where the host was kept and seeing in the sacristy. But I vividly remember sitting in the pews when the Deacon started telling us how the actual event would take place. We were sitting there with our little stoles that we made in CCD over both shoulders, Deacons in the Roman Catholic Church only wear a stole over one shoulder. The Deacon then joked that he was jealous of all us as he was waiting to be allowed to wear his stole over both shoulders as a Priest. All the other children simply laughed, but I then thought I had to become a Priest myself, as I sat there with a stole over both my shoulders in God's house and I would be taking communion the next day just squeaking by as a child of an unrecognized marriage. I did not dare speak up, for I did desire to have communion, but I felt all this guilt upon me. Even though it was truly underserved guilt it was real to me.

I then carried my prayer book around and would recite prayers for every occasion. I was deeply concerned about following the rules. Then about six months later I was on the church grounds and remember feeling as if a light was upon me and I realized that God did not want me to become a priest because I thought I had to, rather God wanted me to say yes knowing my guilt and sin had been removed. It was as if a lump of coal had touched my lips and I knew the resurrection was for me as well, and then I was able to say "Here am I; Send me!" Of course I did not end up a priest but found my way to the Christian Church with the open table where I go often and reminded of that experience on the church lawn.

How does this relate to the 1 Kings pericope? Well not only did I hear God in the silence and knew my inherited guilt was wiped away, but the word coal used in Isaiah is only used in 1 Kings and nowhere else in the Bible. The Hebrew word for "hot coals" (resapim) was what the seraph touches Isaiah's lips as well as what the messenger used to bake cake for Elijah. These made me realize that not only does God want us to follow because we are saved from our sins and guilt, but we will also be sustained by God. I realize now that our open table not only is of the educational nature, but includes the nourishing nature as well. An open table is inclusive of both natures. God with his lump of coal in these scriptures wipes our guilt away and bakes us cake to sustain us in our journey. Communion does the same.

AMEN